Monday, September 05, 2011

Pt. Townsend, Sequim and Port Angeles

Port Townsend

We go to Pt. Townsend often. My parents have 8 weeks of timeshare and we are so blessed to be the recipients of some of the those weeks. There is so much to do; but it is also a wonderful place to relax. We go to the beach, we take a little hike. We see raccoon, deer, and conies. Places to go see are Ft. Worden, the Swiss Lavender Farm in Pt. Townsend. The town itself is great to see the bookstores, the shops, bakeries, and unusual gifts stores. The town is a mixture of granola and artists.









Chief Chetzemoka Park is a Victorian park built in 1906. It is north of town and hosts a rose trellis, creeks and gazebo.





Ft. Worden on Point Wilson lighthouse.






















I was angry

Boy, I was angry both yesterday and today. Anger is like temporary insanity. I regress, become unreasonable and then when it is all over, I am amazed at how I acted. Can I stay in the calm zone? I am not perfect, but I do know what I have to do. At the risk of being a hypocrite (which technically, I wouldn't be if I am confessing my failing as hypocrisy is about wearing a mask), but maybe I can share a few tips on what helps us control our anger.

There are 5 core steps do dealing with anger.

Step 1: SIGNS - Recognize the signals of when you are getting angry. I clench my jaw, think mean thoughts, see mean things. I had a client the other day say that she is so angry and loud in her head that she cannot hear what the other person is saying. I tried noticing this and realize, that this does happen. No doubt the sympathetic nervous system is activated. The SNS (Sympathetic Nervous system) is our fight or flight response. Our inner brain (Limbic system) is activated with all it reflexive and appetite systems. The blood leave our prefrontal cortex (the thoughtful, compassionate part of the brain) and goes inward. I thinking is "fight or flight." Notice the "or" there, only two options. When we are in Sympathetic Nervous System, we are binary. We are all or nothing. Make sense for survival. If we are too busy deciding all the options, we won't act. But guess what? Our this system is pretty much activated too much. We live in this adrenaline, hyperactive and hypervigilant state. This would be fine if we lived in a jungle. But this is not so good for our physical and emotional health, let alone our spiritual life. The signs of anger can also be clenched fists, tightened muscles, neck, shoulders, etc. We might be raising our voice and feeling more energy.

2. Stop! Okay, maybe stop is too much, but for a lot of people we need to just say "STOP" to ourselves or at least say "Slow down, here." The point is that we need to knock ourselves out of this state. We have to stop this train from going off the bridge. I think people have more remorse for saying things and acting in ways in anger, than having remorse because they stopped themselves. This takes practice. I pray for help from God to accomplish this. I believe that it takes Divine intervention.

3. Think. This could be thought of as Stop and Think. We need to move to thinking about what is bothering me really. Anger is a secondary emotion. This means there is always a primary feeling behind it all. To find this, we ask ourselves, "How am I really feeling?" "What is really bothering me?" or "what is behind all this?" We calm down once we have the answer.

4. Calm down. You would think you would be calm after the first three steps. You might be, but this is about what do I need to do to dispel the energy. Anger is one of the few emotions that can be displaced. This means we can transfer it to someone else. Ever hear of kicking the dog? Well, this happens because we have not displaced it appropriately. If you save it up, stuff it, it could seep or explode out later. Think about running, walking, or driving (be careful here, not road rage, but for the scenery and quiet) to dispel the energy. This step really helps us let it go. It is always best to try to channel the anger and process it to fit the situation. Running to let of steam, may be a good choice to help you get reasonable, but it is not going to solve the initial anger situation that writing a calm but assertive let might.

5. Problem solve. This is where we do the fixing. Most of the time we may be needing to "Let it go." By this time, forgiveness, acceptance of what is bothering us is appropriate. If you can't do this, move back to the earlier steps until you can.

This will be a work in progress and I am taking a break right now.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Marianne Carlson


Marianne Carlson is a friend. Her warmth radiates around her. Many who came into contact with her felt a loving connection. My wife's father was fighting against leukemia and she was a great support to my wife. Marianne, herself, fought against cancer many times. In all of this she saw the joy in life. There was hardly a time I was near her that she did not smile. I was talking with her daughter, Kris about her mother's beauty. She made a simple, but profound comment. "Well, you know that is just, mom." It looks cryptic, but I knew what she was saying in all that. Her was a person who lived close to Jesus, appreciated the beauty in life and she herself was beautiful from the inside out. It radiated from her.

I had the opportunity to make a slide show of her life. If you are friends and family and want to purchase a DVD of the slide show her is your opportunity.

The cost is $2.00 plus shipping.

Click here to buy "The Life of Marianne Carlson DVD." I imagine friends and family would be most interested. There is also a link to watch the video online.

Click here to watch The Life of Marianne Carlson

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Another day at Snoqualmie Falls

It was a great Father's day. I enjoy time with my children and wife. We went to Fall City, Carnation and Snoqualmie Falls. The sun came out and we finally got some sunshine. It was certainly welcomed.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Snoqalmie Falls



It was a nice warm day as we hiked to the bottom of the trail to Snoqualmie Falls.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

website

Dear people,

I have launched a website for my practice. http://www.erikbohlin.net

I should prove to be helpful for a lot of reasons. I am a professional counselor and it has information on depression, anxiety, family and married life.

Take a look,

Erik

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Problem we have. . .


The Problem we have. . .
I haven't thought much about writing here. But it is time. I have been thinking lately about the problems we have as people, as Christians, as Orthodox Christians. I write this and include myself in the observation. Here are the problems the way I see it and this might come as a bit of a downer, but hey, . . we need to see what the problem is first before we can fix it, right?

We are in denial. Yeah, this sounds like we are doing a family intervention for drug abuse or addiction, but really we are in denial. We are really unaware of what our problems or even what our main problem is. How can we be healed if we are so blind. And worse, we focus on every one else's problem. We talk about society's problem, we talk about our spouse's problem our children. Do we ever really hear people talk about what their own problem is. There are a few places we hear this. One place where hear honesty is in the lives of the saints. We should emulate them in this. Secondly, we hear it in confession. Well, we don't hear it, priests do. But wouldn't the world be a better place if we heard it from time to time. We also hear it from recovering addicts when doing good work in a 12 step program will talk about their own problems. And, yes, there must be some people out there that focus on what there own problems are.

But even if they do, we tend to minimize, distort, normalize, defend, explain, justify, relate to a childhood cause our problem. We don't just say boldly, "I lie" or "I am critical." We don't say "I minimize my problems" or "I am uncaring." We polish ourselves out of fear of rejection. But what are we polishing. St. Isaac the Syrian said that it is a greater miracle that a person can see their true self, than the miracle of raising someone from the dead. Could these two miracles be more similar than not. How can we be raised from the dead (spiritually) if we don't see ourselves?

Perhaps we need God's help to help us see ourselves. We are in denial about a lot of things. We deny the one thing that we can count on in this life and that is that we are going to die. We know this to be true, but no one talks about it, we don't live according to it. If we talk about it too much, "we are morbid" or "psychologically depressed." But really, how can we begin to prepare for our death without talking about it.

We live as if we have all the time in the world. We really don't know how we are going to die and we don't have any time limit imposed, but even those who are only given a certain amount of time to live, may beat the odds or might be killed on the way to their chemotherapy appointment. This is a fact that we ignore.

In the old days, there were doctors who didn't tell their patients that they were going to die. You can still see this in old movies where you the viewer knew what the doctor said to the family, but didn't tell the patient. How odd. Today, medical practice feels that patients have a right to know, to know exactly what illness they have and to be given tools and decisions so they can fight it.

We all have an illness. This is sin and its affects, which is death. We have been told the news, but we deny it. It is too painful to bear. Why not live a wonderful, "full" live with pleasure, using the material goods that this world has to offer, find a wonderful person to love, or persons. Have qualities relationships with others and if one can fit it in, do some act of kindness that affects the world positively. We call this the good life. We see this in movies. If aliens came to this planet and tried to piece together what was important to human beings from our media, they would have to conclude that the main purpose in live was to find a companion to love and to save the world from a major catastophe. Is there any movie plot that doesn't have a link to those to goals? There are some, but not many.

So we are barking up the wrong tree. How many movies deal with our disease of sin and the goal or plot is to see how a person overcomes it and heals, through hardship, perseverance, patience and love. The irony is that there is a love story to be shared and there is a hero who did come and save the world from a major catastrophe. It is just different from what we think. The major Person we need to find in this life is Jesus Christ and major catastrophe that the hero rescues us from is our corruption from sin. Well, this could wait for another blog entry.

Friday, September 17, 2004

I am new today

Today I am new. I am new to blogging. Who would have thought that we could right out our thoughts and feeling for the world to see. In the past though, it was not safe to be known. I got that message loud and clear. We had to keep it all inside. But today, I am new. By God's Grace, I am new. Today, I don't have to live like that anymore.

Tomorrow, I want to go bike riding in the rain, most likely, with my daughter. What a trip that will be. I am already having the memory, before the event. May be it is the rain, which will determine a lot of what we will feel. May bit it is the excitement of my daughter riding from one town to the next. I think we can do it. We don't ride all the time.

This should be special. This day should be special as well.

Have a great day all.

Erik

A Walk in the Forest

A Walk in the Forest
Trail to Snoqualmie Falls